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After 12 long years of academic struggle, you've finally
been admitted to the college of your choice. You framed
your letter of acceptance and hung it proudly on the living
room wall. You've spent hours checking and double checking
the packing list you received in the mail, making sure you
have every item they recommended you bring. But just because
you have everything they think you need, does that really
mean you're prepared for dorm living? Perhaps a seasoned
college student can offer you a little more information,
the kind they don't put in the brochures. So take a break
from your packing, put aside that orientation schedule and
consider the accumulated wisdom of a returning student.
Dorm life is unique in that you're sharing your living
space with a lot of other people. You're sharing a room,
a bathroom, TV rooms, study spaces, dining halls, pretty
much everything. Since most dorms have paper-thin walls,
it's a good idea to be considerate of your noise level.
You might want to leave your state of the art sound system
at home and bring along a Walkman and a pair of headphones
instead. Even though you may think Brazilian hip hop is
the greatest thing since sliced bread, your roommate and
immediate neighbors might not agree, especially if they're
trying to study for an exam at the same time you want to
get down with your bad self.
It's a plus if your headphones will also plug into your
computer‹the other people on your floor can probably live
their lives quite happily without knowing when you get a
new email or instant message. Your fellow dorm dwellers
will appreciate your courteous behavior and perhaps even
be more mindful of their own noise level. At the very least,
it'll give you a better case when you complain to your next-door
neighbors about the Bulgarian heavy metal they're blasting.
Speaking of noise, there are going to be times when your
schedule conflicts with that of your roommate and you end
up trying to sleep while she's trying to study. A sleep
mask can help block the light from your roommate's desk
lamp and ear plugs can muffle her habitual pencil tapping.
A fan can also come in handy for masking louder noises,
such as roomie failing in her attempt to pull an all-nighter
and slumping out of her chair and onto the floor.
Believe it or not, a good fly swatter is an essential tool
for successful dorm living. Even if you keep your window
closed and locked and seal it around the edges with duct
tape, the occasional bug is going to find its way in. It
doesn't matter how tough you think you are--no one wants
to be balancing on a desk chair at three in the morning
trying to squash a big hairy spider on the ceiling with
an engineering text book. It's much easier to smack it once
with a fly swatter and send it spiraling down to its doom.
In the event that you're unfortunate enough to have an inconsiderate
roommate and the sleep mask and ear plugs just aren't cutting
it, the fly swatter can also be used to gently encourage
him to plan his time more wisely so you can both get some
sleep.
While sleeping and studying are good things to do while
you're at college, any student can tell you that you can
go a few days without them. Eating, however, is essential
to make it through the rigors of a typical day. This isn't
a problem while the dining halls are open, but sadly, hunger
pangs often strike late at night long after the dining halls
have closed. It's difficult to continue the serious work
of studying (or playing video games) on an empty stomach.
In order to combat this serious problem, some colleges
offer refrigerator rental plans. Do not fall for this--they
sound much better than they are. The refrigerators typically
provided by these plans are the same ones your parents probably
rented when they were in college. They're small, cube-shaped,
and need to be defrosted every week or so in order to continue
functioning properly. If you do the math, you'll discover
that you're actually paying more to rent a "vintage" fridge
from the late 70s during the school year than you would
if you bought one brand-new at Wal-Mart. Many colleges offer
storage space for the summer and may even let you keep your
fridge there. Upon graduation, you can either keep it for
your new apartment (or your parents' basement) or sell it
at a discount to an incoming student. It's a much better
deal in the long run, and you won't have to be concerned
that your mom's initials might be carved into the back of
your rental fridge.
Since you can't always be sure that you'll have enough
cash to keep your fridge stocked at all times, it's a good
idea to have some durable, heavy-duty munchies that don't
require refrigeration. Granola bars are filling and normally
take at least a month to go stale, making them ideal for
college consumption.
But when it comes to snack food endurance, you just can't
beat sprayable cheese in a can. If this cheesy comestible
does indeed go bad, it's impossible to tell, since it tastes
the same the day you buy it as the day several months later
when you dredge it out from under a pile of papers behind
your bed. If you play your cards right, a single can of
sprayable cheese can last you all four years of your bachelor's
degree and well into your master's. And because it's in
a can and because it's sprayable, plates, utensils and crackers
are all optional. Sprayable cheese in a can even comes in
two flavors (Monterey jack and Cheddar), so you can offer
a classy selection to any guests who might drop by.
As far as emergency dorm room beverages go, it's handy
to have a couple packets of Kool-Aid lying around. Regardless
of how well you plan your time, there will be some nights
when you'll be awake later than you anticipated. Of course,
this will be because you've decided to go that extra mile
and edit your English paper one last time, not because you're
having a hard time beating that last bad guy in the videogame
you're playing. Right? Right. Whatever the reason you're
still up at two in the morning, Kool-Aid can give you that
extra little sugar kick you need to get things done before
you hit the sack. Simply combine the contents of the Kool
Aid package with the sugar packets you took earlier from
the dining hall (or from the nearest Dunkin Donuts). Water
is optional, but it does help it go down easier. Remember,
it's the sugar that counts.
Once you've dealt with the more mundane tasks of studying,
sleeping, and eating, it's always nice to be able to relax
a bit. A combination TV/VCR is just the ticket in this case.
It can also help your social life. Since other students
don't always think of bringing a TV/VCR to school, you may
suddenly find yourself the most popular person in your dorm.
You really only need to bring two movies. There will be
moments when you will feel nostalgic for high school. You
will think of your old friends, how much easier it was to
doodle in class, and how much you miss your parents' fridge.
At times like these, a John Hughes teen movie from the '80s
is a necessity. It doesn't matter which one--Pretty in Pink,
Ferris Bueller's Day Off, or The Breakfast Club will do
the trick nicely. These films will help you to forget what
high school was really like (anxiety about grades and SAT
scores, too many extracurriculars, little sleep) and replace
it with happy, fabricated memories of what it should have
been like--cool kids with witty one-liners, wild parties
that always went humorously awry, one-upping that dastardly
vice principal, and enough mousse to put it on the endangered
species list.
The second movie you will need is any film starring Pauly
Shore, such as Encino Man, Biodome, or Son-In-Law. You will
need this film for two reasons. First, it'll remind you
that life isn't just about studying and success. Every once
in a while, you need to cut loose, be a little wacky and
sample the delicacies of your local convenience store while
making weasel sounds. Life is short--stop and smell the
Slushees. Secondly, it'll remind you of what could happen
to you if you do this too often and completely neglect your
schoolwork. As much as America loved Pauly Shore, he was
still a has-been by age 30. So just make sure that you get
your money's worth out of college in terms of education
as well.
And last but not least, remember the cardboard boxes to
bring all of these items back home again. You can find them
at most office supply stores and you should buy them a few
weeks before you're scheduled to move out of the dorm, just
to be on the safe side. Stores might be sold out if you
wait until the last minute, especially if you go to school
in an area where there are a lot of other colleges. And
when that happens, a rather irate father shows up at your
dorm with a pack of paper lawn clipping bags because this
is all the stores had left and you're in college now, aren't
you, you should think of things like this and not leave
them until the last minute, right? Right.
One of the most important things you'll learn at college
is that if you learn from the mistakes of others, you won't
have to make them yourself.
Reprinted by permission The Telegraph, Nashua, N.H.,
www.nashuatelegraph.com.
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